MEMORY ~ E.T. and Me

This one is for Vickie

“I bet nether one of you know about Parma Violets. Well, they are very delicate, and they are what people give when they want to give something really special,  when they’re in love, or someone dies….”  Zee Blakely ~ X, Y, and Zee 1972

There is no such thing as true violet eyes. What seems to be violet is made up of the deepest dark blue and flecks of green. I was surprised when I found that out. But despite that truth there was a myth that was in fact a greater truth and reality.  Her eyes were violet. Like violets of Parma, violet of legend when I finally saw them in person they were the kindest eyes I had ever seen.


When I was thirteen years old and Marilyn was gone nearly a year I was doing very badly in math at school.

“If you get a B on your next report card, your step-father and I will take you into Hollywood to see “How The West Was Won.”

“In Cinerama?” I had never seen a movie in Cinerama. The mere prospect of a night out, dinner at Musso and Frank’s, reserved seats AND a glossy program all about the movie caused my voice to reach and octave higher than Jane Powell’s.  I worked harder for that B than I ever had in school and forced my brain to embrace problems and figures that were like poison ivy to my grey cells.

Three months later I was sitting in Musso and Frank’s too excited to eat. Dinner half in me and threatening to not stay there I asked to be excused to go to the bathroom. I was excited about the movie yes. But what had my stomach riding the roller coaster at Pacific Ocean Park was what I had seen from the car as we drove down Hollywood Boulevard, the Pantages Theater all decked out for the arrival of the Queen of Everything! I slipped out the front door of the restaurant into the rare night air that only movie stars breathe and ran the six blocks from Las Palmas to Vine just to see the outer lobby of the Pantages. It was covered in photographs of the movie that was to open later that week. The movie everyone in the world had been waiting for over two years to see.  “The most anticipated movie event of all time” the adds read….and up until then it was.

The splendors of Egypt seared my eyes in gold and sapphire, the might and grandeur of a plaster of Paris ancient Rome engulfed me, and everywhere HER. I only had a minute to look and it was almost too much to bear. How could Debbie Reynolds, Henry Fonda, Jimmy Stewart, John Wayne, Carol Baker, Karl Malden, Eli Wallach, George Peppard and Carolyn Jones compete with this?  Was the West being won from the Indians more important that the ancient Near East being lost to the Romans? I had two choices, pass out on the star strewn sidewalk or run back to Musso and Franks. I turned to run and instantly I saw the most incredible thing my thirteen year old eyes had ever beheld.  High up on the side of the Hollywood Taft building right next door to the Pantages soaring up into the starless inky smoggy night was a painting of HER.  It was seventy; no it must have been a hundred feet high. She was seated on a replica of Tutankhamen’s throne in a green and gold crown, dressed in plunging neckline purple Irene Sharaff gown and holding the emblems of Upper and Lower Egypt across her bosom. Her violet eyes looking down upon me not with imperious hauteur, but with a kind of understanding as if she were the mother of the lost boys.

“We are going to be late….” A hand took mine. It was my step-father. He had known exactly where to find me.

(Painting by Howard Terpning that was on the side of the Hollywood Taft Building.)


“There are never enough hours in the days of a Queen, and her nights have too many…so I fill them with memories of what might have been.”  Cleopatra 1963


At seventeen I had my own movie studio. It was a super-8 movie studio named after the father of movies David Wark Griffith,  D.W.G. Studios it was called. I had saved up money from baby sitting and stripping and waxing kitchen floors for the women in the neighborhood to buy my movie editor, my fist step to running a studio. Why the editor first? At fifty bucks it was the cheapest of the necessities I would need. Camera cost eighty dollars and the projector a whopping one hundred and twenty five so I figured if I had the editor first I would be forced to save up the money to get the rest of the equipment. My step-dad and mom took pity on me and got the camera and projector for my birthday and Christmas that December.

My fist epic was an eighteen minute version of “Antony and Cleopatra”. Surprise! The cast was made up of all the kids I baby sat. Cleopatra was eight years old and her brother at nine played Antony. The love scene was a little uncomfortable to say the very least. Unlike Elizabeth’s version my Cleopatra and her Antony came in under budget after two weeks in production at seventy five dollars. And, I had to make that money back or the studio was sunk! So I put on my post production, marketing and advertising hat and got to work.

I planned to run the film for three weekend showings on Friday and Saturday nights in our garage. I painted a huge reclining Cleo and put it on the roof of the garage with Christmas lights and papered the double car garage door with a sign. “Opening in three weeks the film the entire neighborhood has been waiting for!” I didn’t name it…Cleo on the roof said it all.  I sent out invitations to every person I had ever met. Then, almost as an after thought I sent one to Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton in care of Merto-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios. M.G.M. had been Elizabeth’s home studio for eighteen years. She was no longer under contract to the studio, but maybe they still forwarded her mail.

Three months later I came home from school to be met by my mother at the front door.

“What did you write in that invitation you sent to Elizabeth Taylor?”

“Oh I don’t know…I told her about myself. I just wrote to her like she was anybody. Why?”

“This came today.”  She produced from behind her back an robin egg blue envelope. On the back were three words. Elizabeth Taylor Burton. Mom had to turn the hose on me to calm me down.

Thus began a on again off again correspondence that lasted four years. The Burtons got an invitation to every film that came out of D.W.G. and lots of drawings. They never did make it to my premieres but she always supported my artistic endeavors with a kind note.



“I’m an artist, I paint. Nobody buys. Then I turn out watercolors when I need grocery money.” Laura Reynolds ! The Sandpiper 1965


At nineteen I was a Theater Arts Major in Junior College. By twenty one I came to the realization that I hadn’t the talent to be a good actor, let alone a movie star, I was smart enough to know that Hollywood was sure to break my heart.  But I could paint. So after six months as an English major where spelling proved to be my downfall I became an Art Major.

When I found out in 1971 that I was going to summer school in Guadalajara Mexico and that I would get to spend a weekend in Puerto Vallarta I got an idea. I wrote to Elizabeth allowing the usual three months for the letter to find her where ever she was in the world and told her I wanted to give her a thank you gift for all her support. Would she send me her favorite photograph of her with Richard?

She sent the photo taken when they appeared in Doctor Faustus at Oxford. I painted a very large portrait from that photo of them in costume, he as Doctor Faustus and she Helen of Troy.  It hung in an English Pub in town until it was time to take the train from Mexicali to Guadalajara. The train left at night and there waiting on the platform for the three day trip stood I with my suitcase and the Burtons all boxed up. I was towering at six feet three like mount Popocatépetl above a sea of Mexicans none taller than 5’6″. Everyone was looking at the giant gringo with the long hair and beard. I came to understand during my entire visit to Mexico what it must be like to be famous! Everywhere I went the locals were fascinated by me. Children called me “El Barbo” and ran up to me to tap me for luck.

(The Photo Elizabeth sent when I asked for her favorite photograph with Richard Burton. grey silk caftan by Vicky Tiel.)

I shared my little private Pullman room on the train with the Burtons. When the bed was made up the only place for them was in the bed with me. The first night crossing the Senora Desert was fine. But on the second night in the mountains it was insanity. Every time the train turned and twisted though the Sierra Madre mountains the Burtons would fall over on me. They kept me up all night.

I stayed with the Ramirez family in Guadalajara. They spoke no English and I spoke no Spanish. Senora Ramirez loved the painting so it hung over her dining table for three weeks, until it was time to fly to Puerto Vallarta and surprise the Burtons. My American roommates translated so consequently I never learned any Spanish, except how to ask for scrambled eggs and even that I got wrong. Seems I was asking for “revolting eggs’.  The house maids loved me.

Armed with a friend who spoke Spanish and English I found the Burton house on Calle Zaragoza in Gringo Gulch.  A pink bridge crossed the street connecting the two parts of the house and under the bridge was the front gate. No door bell…just a rope with cowbells hanging down for any one to pull. I was as nervous as a cat on a….you know the rest. I pulled on the cow bells and nothing. My friend yanked on them and again nothing. We were about to leave when a voice came from the bridge above us.


“¿qué es lo que quieres?” We looked up to see a handsome young Mexican man who looked to me to be a dead ringer for one of Ava Gardner’s beach boys in “The Night of the Iguana.”

My friend explained in Spanish my story. He must have done a good job because the beach boy told us to wait and disappeared across the bridge into the main house. Moments later he appeared at the iron gate with two maids in tow.

He demanded to see the painting. I pulled it out of its travel worn box.

“aye qué hermoso!” the maids exclaimed and grabbed the painting and ran up the stairs into the house.

My friend translated to me as the beach boy spoke.

“I will see that Mr. and Mrs. Burton get the painting. They just left yesterday for London for the birth of Mrs. Burton’s first grandchild.”  He thanked me and shut the gate. I missed them by only a day.  I never saw the painting again.

What I didn’t know at the time was that the Burtons were in trouble and in a few years they would be divorced. The letters from Elizabeth  stopped and I understood why.


“The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they’re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.”  Elizabeth Taylor


Many years and three husbands later for Elizabeth I was working in the collections department at Macy’s in San Francisco. The big news was that Elizabeth Taylor was coming to promote her perfume “Elizabeth Taylor’s Passion”.  It was announced that for two hundred and fifty dollars you could have tea with Miss Taylor and about two hundred other people in the Macy’s cafeteria on the eighth floor. My card was maxed out and I had to work that day so there was no way I could see her, let alone meet her.  What would I say? “You don’t remember me but….” I didn’t want to be that guy.

When the hour arrived that she was due on the main floor I blacked out.  The next thing I remember is that I came out of my blackout very close to the stage and she was walking on to it. Everyone was screaming!

Over my lifetime I leaned many things from Elizabeth Taylor. I learned how to face life straight on and survive the hard times. I learned that it was a blessing to be different. I learned that kindness and honesty and being the real you brings unexpected rewards. I learned by watching her with Montgomery Clift, James Dean, and Rock Hudson that loyalty is the hallmark of being a real friend. I learned how to use my eyes to speak when the world was too loud for words.

The day Elizabeth died she gave me her last gift. Just a month before I had angered the love of my life, Bryant Lanier so much that he had cut me off and ended our relationship. It was so final that I knew I would never again speak to the man I had waited a lifetime for. As time crept onward I took on each day and climbed over it knowing from experience that I would survive …. And then Elizabeth died.

I heard the news getting ready for work.  No tears like for Marilyn when I was 10. Too much had happened for tears now. I went to work. Everyone I met that day said “Elizabeth Taylor died today, why are you here?”  There was nothing else to do but live that day through and go on. I learned that from her, you just keep going on.

The following Sunday there was an email from Bryant.

I haven’t thought about anything in the wake of Liz’s death but you,,,in fact I just made myself LOL. Wondering how long you’ll wear black!

They’re playing a nice tribute to her on the CBS Sunday morning show and ,,if u get up in time..(9 AM ) I’m sure you’d love to see it ….

There may someday be plenty to say,,,and some things may go unsaid thank god…

Have a good day..

I love you



PS Call me when you get this.”

In an odd way, Elizabeth’s death gave me a second chance with him. I used to tell Bryant how much he reminded me of Burton because of their shared acting talents and personal demons.  I had Bryant in my life for nine more months before he went to join Elizabeth in the place where there are more stars than there are in the heavens. Three days before he died he said. “You are my Elizabeth.”

As Elizabeth Taylor walked on to the stage that day at Macy’s back in the 80’s she was radiant. She waved out to the packed store. Then she turned and she saw me.  She smiled, and then she winked. That was enough.

Her eyes were like Parma violets, the very flowers I used to send to Bryant on his birthday.

(Bryant Lanier ~ Actor, Singer, Director )


  1. What a story… beautifully written. I think it would make a great screenplay – I really do.
    Not too many people can say that Elizabeth Taylor was the thread that held their hopes, dreams and maybe life together. Wonderful.

    • Yes she did that for me. But I am not alone in that fact. I am so happy you enjoyed the story. …. a screenplay…hummm.

  2. Sublime – that is a true gift. (The thrill, the letters, the ride on the train, the wink, the reconciliation with your Bryant, the Parma Violets…) What I love about your writing is that it is revealing, transporting, and I know this is going to sound a bit odd – luxuriant. I don’t want to be a contrarian but if you turn it into a screenplay it will be rewritten (and not by you) six million different ways by Sunday (next Sunday). I’m with LeBlogdeMarie on this one, and I’m waiting right behind her in line for your book. Hugs from here, V

    • yes I know about the six million ways by Sunday. So don’t worry I am not looking at this late date to storm any studio gates. I am so happy the previews lived up to the actual story for you. I can live with luxuriant…perhaps the yummiest complement I have ever gotten for my writing. The wind and the clouds are heading south today so I folded in a few hugs for you. They should be there by sundown.

  3. I waiting for the movie or the book, whichever comes first.

  4. This made me cry, not in a sad way, but a bittersweet way, with that sort of pang you get when you hear a great love story. This was two great love stories in one—for Elizabeth and for Bryant. Elizabeth Taylor was one of a kind, an exquisite beauty but also a tough broad and a true friend. And I needed an extra Kleenex when I read the line “You are my Elizabeth.” Here’s to you and Elizabeth, and both of your Burtons.

    • There is a Welsh word that Elizabeth used when something moved her “cwtched” it means hug and I am sending a big Welsh cwtched to you Madame W.

  5. Taylor and Burton have been one of the most beautiful and talented couples in history. Both were so brave, unafraid to burn and come alive out of their own ashes… Massive personalities, they will remain the archetype of passion…
    True soulmates, like you and Bryant!
    Thank you!

  6. What a touching story, and on more than one level. It has humor, pathos, aspiration, loss and, of course, love, And I agree; no one else could do justice to the memories you’ve recounted here.

  7. Great post Lanier! Thank you!

  8. Oh what joy to see Her in 1963 at Pantages and go to Musso & Frank’s. Now that’s when Hollywood was still sort of in it’s bloom like the precious violets. I so agree with the others about a screenplay–gorgous.

    • Mary thanks! Yes Hollywood was in 1963 still very much of the old Hollywood glamour. But by the end of that decade it was gone.

  9. I loved your story Lanier. The way myth and real life mix is so surprising.

    A few days after Elizabeth Taylor died we got our little kitten. It was the only one that survived from two litters of a total of 12 kittens. She is white with a black circle on the right side and a black toupée on her head. Her eyes were violet so everybody thought we should call her Liz. I knew Toupée was a more fitting name for the little trooper who new how to survive. Eventually her eyes changed to yellow but she still has this feisty character. She is the queen of the house and all visitors have to pass from her inspection. She will always keep watch when there are visitors in the house and knows how to keep everyone in order.

    Actually I have seen real life violet eyes. People suffering from achromatosis (also known as albinism) can have violet or rather lavender eyes, They are extremely beautiful!

    • Christos
      I love your story about Toupee! I love cats…heck I love animals of all kinds…I wanted a Lion at 10. Dragged home a donkey at 6 that was in a pasture and tried to convince my mother it followed me home. I think Toupee would like me too.
      Yes I know about achromatosis too but I have never seen anyone in person who had it. Thanks for stopping by!

  10. I love that photo of her as Cleopatra.

  11. Thankyou very much for that story ! I love every word of it ,

  12. Interesting how places, events or persons outside of ourselves can be so influential. There was a period of my life that could be told by a Japanese restaurant for all that happened there over a twenty year period.

    • We all have a story that is tied to someone or someplace. That’s one of the wonders of life.

  13. I don’t know how exactly to write what I want to, brcause I have a feeling words are not going to be enough! If you could see me now, my eyes wide in shock and tinged with bittersweet sadness-my mouth set in awe and admiration and my hands moving expressively while I tell you how wonderful this post is-that might, just might have given you a glimpse of my feelings, my thoughts.
    Without all that, I can just say, WOW!
    Thankyou, I loved every word of yours.

    • Oh my goodness what a kind beautiful thing to write. Thank you so much. I am really happy that it moved you so.

      • Believe me when I say that the pleasure was all mine! 🙂

  14. This is so beautifully heartbreaking and full of drama on so many different levels but that ET brought you and Bryant back together is truly a gift!

    (For years I thought ET was family, the missing sister to my mother and aunts. They talked about her all the time, as though she might walk through the door and join them at the kitchen table any time. I really thought she would live forever!)

    • Oh Patti…oh Patti so did I. A big hug to you sweetheart from another member of E.T.’s huge extended family!

  15. Your posts are so wonderful; I never know where they are going to go, but they are always moving and so engaging.

    • I’ll let you in on a little secret. I don’t know where they are going to go either when I begin to write. Hugs dear Natalie!

      • Hugs to you!

  16. It’s such a beautiful story, Lanier! Thank you.

  17. Did you catch LIZ & DICK?

    • OY Gavalt! What a train wreck that was LOL. There is just no way to do justice to L and D in a TV movie!

  18. What an enchanting tale of your lessons learned from Elizabeth. Thank you so much for sharing so much!

  19. […] via MEMORY ~ E.T. and Me | SCENTS MEMORY. […]

  20. Cinerama; How the West was Won; how I remember that cinema treat! But no one let me see Cleopatra….mmmm.. ??? and I have yet to see it. An enchanting post, like a bundle of love letters, scented with pressed violets and tied with a matching ribbon.

    • When you finally do see Cleopatra it must be on the largest screen possible and with a great sound system. AND you should see “Cleopatra, The Film That Changed Hollywood” a great documentary about the epic studio shaking story behind the film. Gallivanta you are so very kind. Thank you.

  21. Oh my, that was deeply affecting. Such a sweet and powerful tale thrumming with emotion. I am unashamed to say that reading the note Bryant sent you made me cry, those three words and the P.S. – oh, to be Loved.
    The photographic portrait of Elizabeth and Richard is simply gorgeous. What marvellous writing Sir Lanier, and much gratitude to Queen Vickie for posting this. Now, I must dry my eyes… (I do so like the peroration on violet eyes, too.)

    P.S. “… The love scene was a little awkward to say the least.” Like a John Waters movie, I think!

    • Now how did I not reply to your lovely lovely note? You are so kind George and I want to thank you very much for your kind words and lovely thoughts.

  22. “I had never seen a movie in Cinerama. The mere prospect of a night out, dinner at Musso and Frank’s, reserved seats AND a glossy program all about the movie”

    LOVED this.

    • The Cinerama Dome is still there on Sunset Blvd. in Hollywood. Keep an eye open for the possibility of a special showing of on of the films in that process. I hear it happens once in a while. I am so happy you loved my story. xo

  23. What a beautiful, amazing and heartbreaking story. I too, will find the inspiration I desperately need from the words you wrote several years ago via your relationship and connection to Liz and Dick.

    • Thank you so much Iniviblegrill422. I know you will find it within … it is all there and you have the key. Big HUG

  24. A beautifully written post–thank you for sharing this moving personal story with us. I was saddened and sorry to read of Bryant’s passing, but also very glad that you were able to have a second chance with him. The email he sent you just made my heart swell with happiness for you! I had tears in my eyes by the end of this marvelous post–bittersweet, as others have said, for this was both heartbreaking and inspiring.
    Your writing is so fused with emotion that it carries over to the readers. It is as if we are able to be there with you, and see these memories in our own mind’s eye, as well.

    • Thank you Tia Eliza. I am so pleased that the piece moved you. Your kind words are so sweet. Thank you.

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